Ivf, this magical hope to those who have, for whatever reasons not been able to conceive naturally themselves.
I am on his journey. I have already started my first cycle, and it was NOT the scary, emotional, stressful situation that everyone describes it to be. Of course, it’s a bit of a headache attending the early morning appointments, especially when you have to get there over an hour early to your appointment time just so you can find a parking space, only to be greeted to at least 12 other people who have the same idea as you…thus, leaving you all squeezing in the doorway to avoid the dark, wet morning, staring at each other wondering what each persons reason for them being here is.
Have you got blocked tubes like me? Is it make infertility? How far are you in your journey? Have you already got children?
Once in, you find yourself in the cycle. Your cycle in fact. Never before did I notice day 1-11 of my cycle, I now know how and when to expect ovulation, how many cycle days I have and what exactly happens inside my body during his monthly patrol.
I, the great hypochondriac…with the needle phobia thought this was all going to be a massive fuss, something that I couldn’t get through, however, I found the whole process mildly pleasant. The nurses really helped me through what I needed to know, willing and ready to answer any (stupid, and they were mostly stupid) questions.
I blinked (with the sound of my best friends soothing songs every 8am) and the needles were done. Here I was, ready to have the egg collection.
BLAM – there was the pain, excruciating. I never want to have his again! Not only was a double dosed on pain killers, the gas and air had filled my head and nausea was imminent. What I didn’t realise was, that in the battle to beat my body and try to conceive naturally, the 9 previous abdominal surgeries I’ve had has now left my abdomen in a scarred tissue haven. This was not a help at all for the poor doctors who had to deal with me hysterically screaming and working around during the egg collection.
But it was done. 9 eggs collected, I had reacted well to the treatment and even though one side of my body was a total mess that didn’t give me anything, my other side had not let me down 💪🏽
Transfer day – the fact my battered cervix made the transfer a battle and a 10 minute procedure now took 45 mins….it was easy.
The 2 week wait is hell.
From feeling sick when trying to do my weekly shop, wondering if I should lift anything, should I take a test? Has it worked? I was so tired…but alas, it was over and the day to find out was here.
It had failed.
So now I being another round, this time on a natural cycle, hoping and praying that this is my time, this time, I won’t have all the drugs in my system so fingers crossed.
My time will come. I know it. I have made a baby book of my journey and it is a lovely was to look back at my egg picture and to know what I have done to try for my little one.
But if it is some help to anyone, I was the calmest I’ve ever been during my ivf cycle, and I still failed. It is a matter of rolling the dice and hoping. Have faith in yourself and your body…everything that is meant to be will be!!
For now….it’s me and midget